This is some seriously impressive/adorable/makes-me-feel-weird-inside sloth make up by Redditor hay-ewe. She’s a Bridal Makeup Artist, so turning yourself into a sloth is a definite sell on your wedding day beautifying abilities. It’s definitely working on me — I’m sold! On my big day I’m gonna be done up as a cat. Can you imagine? Me, a cat-bride, slinking up the aisle, meowing and pawing my face. My groom stands at the altar wondering “WTF did I get myself into? Is it too late to run?” But it will be too late to run. That’s romance, guys. Love is real!
Tag Archives: Beauty & Grooming
Groomed Dogs Look Like… Something
Previously we’ve seen some dog hair don’ts by photographer Ren Netherland. Now he’s back with some more. Wheeeeee? I’d say that these are more horrifying than the ones before, but my mouth is full of vomit and I haven’t decided yet if I should go ahead and let it out or try and force it back down. Decisions, decisions!
Rude Facial Hair Is Rude!
NOTE: Uncensored version below. Look at your own risk if you want to be offended by facial hair!
This is a man who shaved the words “F*** OFF” into his facial hair. And then he posed for this picture. That’s pretty much all the information I’ve got as it right now and let’s be honest, I’m not going to do any more digging once I hit the publish button. Now before you get all bent out of shape saying “Hey this dumb thing isn’t incredible! Why is this on Incredible Things?!” I just to point out that this is incredible. Incredibly rude! Amirite? That guy’s mom should totally wash out his mouth with soap a can of whoop-ass! You know he deserves it. You just know he does.
Batman & Superman Scented Colognes
Hot Topic is selling Batman and Superman scented fragrances for $20 a pop. The Batman cologne smells of all kinds of random stuff, but most notably to me? Patchouli. You think the Dark Knight’s been hitting that herb? Yeah, you’re right: it’s probably Alfred. The Superman scent has got all kinds of kooky smells in it too. The one that sticks out to me most is that lemon sorbet note. WTF, Supes? You hitting up the gelato shop without me? You think I wouldn’t be able to tell? I can always tell.
Train Your Face To Stay Young
Sure nobody wants to get old, but most of all, nobody wants to look old. If I could look 20, but feel 30, then sign me up. You could just buy a Facetrainer and watch the years melt off your older and wiser visage. The FaceTrainer by no!no! is a fitness device for facial muscles that claims to make users look years younger without knives or needles. If you have just 10 minutes a day to strap this baby on, you can tighten sagging skin and ease the signs of aging. Still not sold? In clinical trials, the FaceTrainer delivered results that had 91% of the participants ready to recommend it to their friends. Face training parties, anyone?
Hello Kitty Breast Implants: Because It’s What Inside That Counts
If you’re a diehard Hello Kitty fan you can sleep in the vacation home, wear the bikini, drink the wine, and fly the airlines. But what if that’s not enough? What if you just need Hello Kitty embedded in your soul? Or boobs? Maybe one day it will be possible. While Hello Kitty Breast Implants don’t exist at the moment, I don’t really see what’s holding up production. Maybe because Sanrio is trying to figure out how to tweak them a bit so women everywhere can have actual kitty shaped breasts…
I Smell Trouble!: Whiskey Cologne
Perfumier (which is a fancy way of saying “people who make smell-goods”) Commodity is selling Whiskey-scented cologne. They’ve also got other fragrances like tea, paper, cloth, gin, and mimosa. Okay, I get tea, paper, and… cloth. Kind of. But the whiskey and the gin? That’s a little counterproductive, right? I mean, I wear cologne to mask the whiskey and gin. Jk jk, I douse myself in Febreze to mask the whiskey and gin. Mimosa? I’d totally rock a mimosa scent. People will think I’m classy!
Because Beauty is Pain: Vampire Facials
Recently we learned about the hot new beauty treatment Huǒ liáo that involves letting someone put a chemical soaked rag over your face and then lighting in on fire. Now there’s another crazy facial treatment called a “blood facial” or “vampire facial” that involves getting your own blood injected into your face. First 2 vials of blood are taken from your arm, then sent to a centrifuge, then injected into your face by a machine that has 9 tiny needles on it. The blood facial costs about $1000 and is supposed to heal your skin or make you look younger or some crap. It doesn’t actually turn you into a vampire if that’s what you were thinking. Which is a shame because THAT would be a great way to stay young looking—you know, like FOREVER.
A Tongue-Mounted Toothbrush
Tongue 2 Teeth (or T2T) is an invention by Adel Elseri and Said Fayad. It’s a tongue-mounted toothbrush that’s coated with toothpaste, has a bumpy texture, and slips over your tongue. Adel says he came up with the concept while driving home from a 12 hour shift. That’s impressive! The only thing I’ve ever come up with after driving home from a 12 hour shift is something along the lines of “Someone should invent cars that automatically drive you home. Yawwwn! Man, I’m so sleepy. Just gonna rest my eyes here for a minute. Zzzzzz–CRASH!” So yeah, not quite the invention I’ve been dreaming of (literally!), but still cool. You just keep on working toward revolutionizing the world of oral hygeine, guys!
Huh?: Dead Writers-Scented Perfume
Etsy shop Sweet Tea Apothecary creates historically inspired fragrances, like this Dead Writers-scented perfume. It smells of black tea, vetiver, clove, musk, vanilla, heliotrope, and tobacco. The stuff is influenced by legendary writers like Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Shakespeare, Poe, and more. Ooh — now do a Barely-Alive Bloggers version next! It’ll have notes of parent’s basement, cold coffee, low self-esteem, and the essence of the internet. Sure to be a big hit with no one.