Chocolates Shaped Like A Booty Hole

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, Chocolate Buttholes are made. Everyone loves chocolate. And everyone has an anus. Except me. I’m a classy lady! For the rest of you booty hole havers, there’s the Edible Anus, milk, white, or dark chocolate made in the shape of a model’s @$$hole. Why? I don’t know. But I can tell you why not: butts are gross!

Luxury At It’s Luxuriest: Gold Bacon

Bacon by itself is a luxury. But bacon dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with edible gold flakes? That’s the stuff rich people dreams are made of. Baconery, the same folks who brought us all kinds of bacon baked goods, are now selling 23k Gold Bacon. That’s strips of Nueske’s Cherrywood Bacon coated in Guittard Semi-Sweet Dark Chocolate and speckled with 23k gold flakes. See, kids? Dreams really do come true!

Chocolate Animal Style Dessert Burger

This is The Chocolate Double Double Animal (Cracker) Style Burger. No, In-N-Out didn’t jump the shark, this desserty burg was created by Chef Kerry Simon. The chocolate mousse patty rests on a macaroon bun and stacked with the sweetest fixins like strawberries for tomatoes, mint for lettuce, crème fraiche for cheese, and a brioche bun to top it all off. The whole dealie comes with a side of puff pastry fries. It’s available through the end of May at JW Marriott’s LA Market. A very limited time. Almost too limited. So limited in fact that even though I live less than 15 minutes away, I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I’m too comfortable on the couch right now and I imagine by the time my legs fall asleep I’m gonna forget all about this chocolate burger thing and order a pizza.

Chocolate Meteorites Fill that Crater in Your Stomach

After you’re done devouring your planetary chocolates, all that remains are meteorites. At least that’s how I think the guys at L’eclat chocolates came up with these chocolate meteorite candies.

chocolate meteorites 1

Each of these candies is made to look like a specific meteorite, such as the Henbury, the Orgueil or the Pallsovka. They even have one called the Tatahouine, named after the meteorite that fell in the Tunisian desert that served as the set for Tatooine in Star Wars. Instead of tasting like burnt up space rocks, these come in flavors like white chocolate with grapefruit and earl grey tea, and bitter chocolate with hazelnut praline.

chocolate meteorites 2

A set of eight meteorite chocolates sells for ¥3000 (~$30 USD) in Japan, but check with White Rabbit Express for a quote to get them shipped stateside.

Belgian Chocolate Stamps: Sealed With a Kiss and Sent With a Lick

Do you have a taste for Belgian chocolate? Then you’ll most likely develop a taste for Belgian stamps as well because they’re infused with cacao oil that lets you taste that rich, chocolatey flavor with every lick.

Belgian Chocolate Lick StampsBoth the front and back of these stamps have been coated with the infusion, so both the sender and recipient can get a small taste of Belgian heaven: the former, when they lick the adhesive part; and the latter, when the lick the outside of the stamp. On second thought, it might not taste as good for the recipient given it’s already gone through the entire postal system (and is probably extremely dirty by the time it’s received.)

Oh, well.

The stamp was recently sampled by collector Marie-Claire Verstichel, who declared that while the taste was a little disappointing, the smell of it was still oh-so-good. A sheet of five stamps cost about $8, which is a bit pricier than its original 5 Euro face value.

[via HuffPost via Dvice]

Dark Chocolate Sriracha Bunny

Have you grown out of enjoying Easter candy? I mean obviously no one ever grows out of enjoying Cadbury eggs, but stuff like chocolate Easter bunnies are strictly for kids right? Actually we learned that not all chocolate bunnies are kid friendly, but never has there been a bunny so clearly made for adult tastes. The Dark Chocolate Sriracha Bunny combines rich Belgian chocolate with the spicy kick of Sriracha hot sauce. That means it’s probably not a great treat for kids who like sweets. Although it could be said that sweets aren’t a great treat for kids who like sweets—most kids these days don’t even know the difference between a potato and a tomato.

The All Chocolate Breakfast Contains 8,000+ Calories

You know that dream breakfast you came up with as a kid? No, not the one that was a 50 scoop ice cream sundae covered in Nerds and french fries. The one with all the chocolate. That’s basically what the guys over at Epic Meal Time have cooked up. This All-Chocolate breakfast includes chocolate sunny-side up eggs, chocolate potatoes, chocolate breakfast meats, french Nutella toast, and chocolate pancakes. The entire thing contains 8,724 calories and 380 grams of fat. Of course, we’re not just talking about some food covered in chocolate—it has been infused with chocolate. The sausages have been filed with chocolate syrup and the pancakes are loaded with double fudge chocolate chip Pop-tarts. Check out the video for disturbing, yet mesmerizing food porn.

Brains Never Tasted This Sweet: Zombie Brains Chocolate Treats

When I think of zombies and brains, I remember that hilarious music video that you can watch after you play all the levels of Plants vs. Zombies. You know, the one that goes There’s a zombie on your lawn…

This time around, though, you can turn the tables on those zombies and eat their brains instead. Figuratively, that is, because as you all know, zombies don’t exist. At least not yet.

Zombie Brain1

If you fancy having a taste of zombie brains because you’re bored with your current food choices, then turn to KnotTheOrdinary because they won’t disappointed.

They’re currently offering a sweet set of six teeny tiny Zombie Brain chocolate treats filled with your gooey filling of choice (you can choose from three!) for just $10(USD).

[via Gadgets Matrix]

Calling Chocoholics Anonymous: Now You Can Drink Chocolate Stout from this Chocolate Glass

Chocolate Beer and Glass

Beer and chocolate make for a surprisingly delicious combination. It might not sound very appealing, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Because once you have, I swear, you’ll be coming back for more. Japanese brewery Sankt Gallen is well aware of this, since they’ve been producing chocolate flavored stout for a while now.

However, they’ve decided to take things a notch further by offering a set that includes a bottle of their best-selling chocolate stout and an edible chocolate glass. Beer and chocolate aficionados are supposed to pour the stout into the glass and enjoy the flavorful drink while taking a few bites of chocolate in between.

Rocket News 24 asserts that the glass could counteract the bitterness of the “ultra-dark beer’ which was brewed “with over twice the ingredients of your average dark beer including roasted ‘chocolate malt.’”

VIA [ Food Beast ]

Drink Chocolate Beer Out Of A Chocolate Glass

Sankt Gallen, a Japanese Brewery, brings us Imperial Chocolate Stout served in a chocolate glass. The product site claims the set was made available for purchase in early February, but sold out in a matter of minutes. I can totally see why! Drinking booze and eating chocolate? Sounds just like a Saturday night at my place. Hiyoooo! Ah, it’s funny because I am so very alone. Except for the cats! I still got my cats. Aw, who am I kidding? They only like me because I rub myself down with catnip every morning. That, and canned tuna. Catnip and canned tuna: a winning combination if you’re trying to make yourself irresistible to cats. And, let’s be honest — when am I not?